Wednesday, August 3, 2011
gimme sugar and that sweet love of God
Here's my num-num place holder with sweetness visions dancing from years ago as I bounced around Scotland on one of my many succulent journeys there. I'm home from 10 days in the hospital into which I was ambulanced on Sunday, July 24th with five gasping words to each 1/8th breath I'd become used to over the prior slowly shrinking 6 weeks. I spent 6 days in the ICU ward at UCSF Medical Center before being transferred to "11Long" - the cancer ward. If you're sick, go to UCSF. Marin County could not help me any more and in fact their brightest and best seemed to be colluding to scrinch my symptomology into bite-sized neo-fixes which were not helping me in any meaningful manner.
If you can't breathe, you can't move. You can't think. Cognitive function slowly erodes. Your best thinking and praying aren't clear and in fact are muddying themselves a la putting the little froggie in the cold water pot and slowly turning up the heat. If you do it gradually enough, rumor has it that it will cook to death before it realizes it. No drawn butter for me today, by the grace of God, thank You!
I am home. Jim and Jane brought me here via pill bottle pickup at the local über-organic Pharmaca and a salad 'n soup Whole Foods run. I sip a soda. I moved the breathing machines (all 4 of 'em) to the sun porch. I will sink into quiet, into ahhh, and share as I am able over the coming whatever bits of time. My fingers dance a happy beat all 10 fingers, lost to me in hospital land with my otherwise extremely able iPhone4 (get one!). Tonight my Sunday night Oikos Beloveds and I break Naan bread at a local Indian restaurant here in Novato. Pile the table high, give thanks, and give thanks again.
Thank You Lord that I am home. Thank You Lord for showing me Home. I crave Your strength today. In Jesus' Holy and Most Blessed Name, Amen.