Monday, December 21, 2009

Winter Solstice

This photo is from the pasture gate at Fisherman's Bothies where I spent a slow and healing time from April to mid-July of this year. Tony sent it to me as a Christmas greeting. This is a female pheasant next to a Rowan Tree, a Celtic symbol of considerable mystical attributes from the visionary to the psychic realms. I love it because it brings forth in me the quiet and peace I especially desire right now.

I am grateful to have the energy to create a renewed life here in Northern California. 'Tis the season, and much time is expended not only in my own slowly revived business but in welcoming Christmas and the joys of a new home. Right now a robin is in the cotoneaster tree outside my 2nd floor living room window, looking at me curiously. (At least I think s/he is looking at me. Looks can be deceiving). The other day a flurry of birds were stuffing their liddul faces with the red berries covering the branches. Soon I hope to find a small round corner dining table that could double as a desk perch with a heavenly view. Finding the right furnishings at the right prices takes time!

I have more of it today - the gift of time and presence - than was suggested a year ago, when I was in the leukemia lockup ward at Alta Bates Hospital in Berkeley. As we approach the Christmas Eve Midnight Mass at my Church, I stumble into tears when I recall that I was not able to sing with my choir a year ago.... and that my Church "beamed in" the service via Skype to my hospital room. I am reminded of the enormous gratitude that today I am NOT in a hospital, praying for my white blood counts to revive while getting nightly Neupogen shots to artificially coax them on.

This week I see two physicians at the Preventive Medical Center of Marin. Last week I met with their founder and director, Dr. Haas, who I had been seeing for health building prior to the rude interruption of leukemia. He's a fantastic healing practitioner and has referred me on to those who would help me zero in on the underlying issues of this bone marrow disorder. They are not "cancer doctors." As far as my awareness can say, if you're not an AMA Board Certified oncologist and you call yourself a "cancer doctor," bad things happen. These are my own observations after the considerable studies I've embarked on in the realms of alternative healing with cancer. Hang out a sign with the c-word in it, and wowie - suddenly you can only work in Mexico or another country. I will not quote books or websites here. So in addition to my own designed program of live foods, God's Grace and a growing array of nutriceuticals, I am giving myself the gift of others' wisdom. (Cue laugh track). I know where the chemo lives. I've had enough, today, thank you very much.

And my journey continues.

May this day bring you the magic, the grace, the spiritual enlivenment and the joy you desire at this most sacred time of year.

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