Tuesday, January 18, 2011

reasonable news for now

My friends Chris & Alice gave me these lovely mugs for Christmas.... filled with not only posh organic teas! Lent will come too soon... will it be time to relinquish chocolate yet again? It was a long Advent!

Just updates tonight:

The cold is 90% healed, for which I am EXCEEDINGLY grateful to God. It didn't become the flu, which I managed to come down with last year at this time (when my white counts plunged to point-nine). I've been to the gym a few times (whoa!) in the past several days and am slowly rebuilding my strength.

The mystery spots biopsy stitches come out tomorrow. Having to caretake this little bit of thread by avoiding too much water contact has been an extreme annoyance. How my aching muscles longed for the jacuzzi at the Club! I poured some toxic goo all over my body the other night presupposing something that has not been medically verified. At this point I will gargle from the La Brea Tar Pits if it'll make the invisible traumatizing bastards go away for good. All the brownie points I gave myself last summer for months of ecological line drying went straight to hell the past several weeks doing sometimes four loads of hot washing and drying a day. It's been a few days since I've seen new spots. I understand why people go mad over the seemingly "smallest" things.

My latest blood test results are a hoot. (That's a funny thing to write for someone who goes bonkers around them, wouldn't you say?). December's numbers were: WBC 1.7 (a notch low); RBC 3.7; Platelets 89 (low and disturbing), ANC (neutrophils) .4 (ditto). I had my blood drawn at the new doctor's office last week when I didn't want to, since when I'm sick, they suck. So....

WBC: 2.2 (not a typo)
RBC: 3.2
Platelets: 105
Neutrophils: Unknown 'cause they're called something else on this test

I could tell I was quite anemic just by looking in the mirror. You're as pale as a ghost! Perhaps I should be more worried, but I know I can bump the reds with diet and supplements over time. A platelet drop foretells that which I DON'T want to happen... and will not be named here! So my reds went turbo anemic yet my platelets rose. WTF? As for the white counts, I don't know what to say. I haven't been over two since I don't know when. In fact, the weird line I didn't recognize called "segs" seems to be another medical code for neutrophils. If I compare that percentage with December's, that TOO rose.

Something called "modified Westergren" was elevated. I believe it attests to inflammation. I've been sick! Duh!

And the rest of my numbers, all those bits from cholesterol to thyroid stimulating hormone to BUN this and bilirubin that? AWESOME. So now I feel like a bad parent trying to shame the dummy kid into emulating the brilliant sibling: "Bone marrow... yeah you! I'm talkin' to YOU! I want you to make like all those other counts and KICK SOME ASS now, ya hear? They're 4.0 Dean's List summa cum righteous! Just DO it, okay?" I've tried gentle yet powerful visualizations... patting my legs and saying, 'come on, kids, you can do it'. Today I was bratty and bossy. It's been a stressful month health-wise. You'd think the extra chocolate I'm helping myself to would be enough but noooooooooo.....

I took some wry enjoyment from the Old Testament reading I heard in Church on Sunday. Here's the line that stands out for me: "He made my mouth like a sharpened sword." [Isaiah 49:2]. In context this has great holiness. On Sunday I didn't feel so holy, so I latched onto it while I sulked.

I'm still trying to wrap my head around the CBCs. The drop in reds makes sense. The whites shooting up while I've been rallying them to my defense on multiple levels...is this a miracle or a mistake? Where is my trust? I'll be closer to gratitude when I stop pouting.

12 But who can discern their own errors?
Forgive my hidden faults.
13 Keep your servant also from willful sins;
may they not rule over me.
Then I will be blameless,
innocent of great transgression.

14 May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart
be pleasing in your sight,
LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.

- Psalm 19:12-14.


  1. Wonderful news about your cold and your tests! Rest is never a bad thing.

    I WOULD say that you shouldn't try to make up for your "sloth" by overdoing it at the gym. Let those nagging little imps keep silent and be easy on yourself and good to yourself. Remind yourself every day that you deserve it. Because you do.

    And perhaps that bit of extra rest has been what prompted your white cells to come out in force to drive back the invader. Anemia can be conquered with B12 and...ahem...a bit more rest. Not to be yet another nag. ;-)

    Enjoy the day. Smile and relax and breathe, while glorying in your improved health. We pray for you and with you, and breathe with you, from a distance. Hugs and blessings.

  2. Wow Dianne, I wish my WBC was lower like yours, not too low, but lower than it is (about 20K).
    Here's to an amazing and healthy new year!

  3. May we, our counts and our loved ones ALL find balance today and always! Weird how the different marrow disorders manifest themselves...... and wonderful how we can find new life as we can.

  4. Hi Diane, I really don't want you to think I'm stalking you - but every so often I check your blog site. You are an inspiration. It's been a year since Father Paul left St. Davids. The interim rector is phenomenal so it's difficult to stress during this time of transition. Ernest and the choir continues to sing and make music. So glad I had choir as my outlet to meet you. Keep that can do attitude up! Blessings to you in all things! Peggy Fallon (fellow alto)

  5. Oh "Anonymous!" I JUST found your comment hiding on the site and waiting for me to find it. Usually they steal into my email box and wait for my pseudo-benediction. Didn't want you to think I'm ignoring you, as I appreciate everything you share.